A little (not really) holiday reading

My main page is looking a little blank.  It is also Christmas Eve Eve.  So what better solution to both of these than posting a little  (not really) holiday reading?  This is a script I wrote for a college class last winter with the following prompt: There has to be some kind of problem that all of the characters are aware of, but you can’t actually ever say what it is.

Can you find out what the problem is?

Tis the Season

By: Amber Wise



June…… young woman in her early 20’s and July’s twin.

August….. man in his early 30’s who is June and July’s older brother.

July……. Young man in his early 20’s who is June’s twin.


Playwright’s Note: JUNE should constantly be moving in some way, whether its bouncing her leg up and down, fidgeting with something, biting her nails, etc. JULY should have similar mannerisms. 


At rise: JUNE is in the passenger seat of a car, stage left, driven by AUGUST.  JUNE is fuming in her seat while AUGUST looks resigned.  They are driving through a city. 



Pissed?  Pissed?!  Of course I’m pissed, that jerk!  Why wouldn’t I be?  He just left!


And he didn’t just leave, he left without me!

She stomps a foot on the floor and lets out a frustrated noise.

He knows I used up my stash two days ago, I’m dying here!

She hits the car again.



                                                                                    Pats the dash of the car.

She didn’t mean it baby.  Hey, don’t be so rough on Beepy!  If it wasn’t for her, you’d still be lying face down on the carpet in a pool of your own tears.



Continues to pout for a moment before finally giving in and awkwardly patting the dash.


The two sit in silence for a few moments.  JUNE notices something sticking out of the glove compartment and reaches down to it.



Makes a sudden sharp turn, bringing JUNE’s attention away from the glove compartment.

Oops, sorry!  Almost missed my turn.  Hehe, crazy city streets am I right?



She gives AUGUST a suspicious look and reaches for the glove compartment again.

How long did you play GTA yesterday?  Last I checked the streets still don’t actually work like that.

                                                                                    AUGUST makes another abrupt turn.

Oh my god, seriously?  How old are you?



We’re here!



Uh… no we aren’t.



Oh, hehe… silly me.  GPS must be broken.



                                                                                    (Growing more irritated)

What’s in the box?



                                                                                    AUGUST Starts driving again.


Are we quoting movies now?  I can do that too.

(Starts talking like Yoda)

In the box find nothing you will.

He reaches over with one hand to try and keep her out of the compartment but she slaps his hand away.







Eyes on the road old man!

She cries out in triumph when pulling a bag from the compartment.  We can’t see what is in it.  JUNE opens the bag and looks inside.  A moment passes.  Slowly, very slowly, she raises her head to look at AUGUST: a look of betrayal. 




Trying to pacify JUNE while keeping his eyes on the road.

Now, I know what it looks like but it’s not what you th—



–You’ve had a stash in here the entire time?!



Well yes, but… July was on his way to—



–You’re working with that traitor now?!  What is this, an intervention?  I told you, I can quit whenever I want!

She takes a handful of the contents of the bag and stuffs it in her mouth.



You say that every week when you beg one of us to drive you to the store, June!  You have a problem.


And stop eating!





Takes one more handful before putting the bag back.

What?  Afraid you’ll run out of your secret stash?  You’re such a hypocrite.  Trying to tell me I have a problem when you’ve been indulging yourself this whole time!



Finally arriving at their destination, AUGUST and JUNE get out of the car, walking towards stage right.

I admit, you have good tastes, but this bag has lasted me over a week.  One small bag has lasted me a week.  


They stop at a set of shelves on stage right.  Spend a moment here.  

Wait…. Are they out?  How can they be out?  They had plenty last week!



Maybe you went all zombie in the middle of the night and ate the rest of their stock.

Ignoring him, JUNE glances towards the audience and does a double take.



She points into the audience.

Hey!  No, don’t hide!  I see you!

JULY is out in the house, frozen mid-walk towards the exit with a loaded reusable bag in his hand.  He rushes to a different part of the house while JUNE comes off the stage and gives chase.

Get back here you traitor!  What are you, a secret addict too?  Where are you going?  Get back here!

JUNE chases JULY for a few moments before eventually they both end up on stage again.  JULY uses AUGUST as a shield.



Aren’t you two supposed to be adults?




You’re one to talk!  Now give me the bag July!



No, I bought these already.  Get your own!



As if presenting a work of art, very sarcastically motions to the empty shelf.

YOU bought them all!  This is the only place that sells them in the city!  How many bags did you buy?  Ten?  Twelve?



Twenty four…



…Excuse me?



Please tell me you’re going to share those…

JULY and JUNE are locked in a staring contest, with JUNE winning. 

Alright you two, let’s go.

Starts pushing them back towards stage left.

You can ride together to sort out your problems.  I’m going to drive home in peace.

Stops JULY and takes one package from his bag.

But I’m taking this as payment and compensation for the ordeal that is being your older brother.




                                                                                    Hasn’t stopped staring JULY down.

You are sharing those, right?


                                                                                    Lights out. 




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